If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
