You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
