I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
