10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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