You're my little dorito
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
