hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
