Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
