You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
