We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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