Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
