OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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