OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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