there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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