I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
