her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
