I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
