I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
