I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize