She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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