she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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