I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
