So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
