i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
