she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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