DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
