Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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