normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
