it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead