Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.