the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
