I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
