Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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