Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
