Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
