I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
