I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I did not marry a roomba.
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