where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.