I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...