Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10