wanna go halves on a baby?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.