everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize