Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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