You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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