you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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