when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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