I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize