so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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