It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
