Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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