You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
