Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
