I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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