8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
