he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
