New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
