HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
