Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
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