i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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