i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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