i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
