is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
