i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
