Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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