home. puking in laundry basket.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
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I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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