It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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