dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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