That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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